I don’t know if it’s exactly insomnia, but lately, I’ve found it really hard to sleep early. I can’t count the number of times I’d try to sleep at 11 or 12 and end up laying in bed for two or three hours, wide awake. Last night, I’d had just about enough and took some Zyrtec to help me out. Knowing that I was guaranteed early sleep now, I relaxed a bit and, by examining myself in my last waking moments of the day, tried to understand why I wasn’t able to sleep.
My feet, calves, knees, hamstrings, quads, glues, lower back, abs, traps, biceps triceps hands neck face – all good. Is there something in the room that’s unconsciously bothering me? TV, fan sofa no one else is moving around smells? no it can’t be that. What’s on my mind? I can’t stop thinking about how there’s no way I can finish a full week’s worth of homework that 18 units of classes gives me in time for my flight MHacks on Friday morning. I rearrange my schedule for the next few days in my mind over and over again, trying to figure out a way to reserve enough time to get everything done, attend to all my commitments, and still get seven hours of sleep. What worried me more was that some tasks weren’t even definite – my computer science assignment could take anywhere from 4 to 12 hours depending on how many bugs –
Ah. Here is the problem. I’m constantly worried about my schedule, and that I might fall behind like I did last quarter (and I’ve secretly vowed never to let any quarter be as bad as last quarter – more on that sometime later). Soon after I realized this, the sleeping pills began taking effect and I slept like a baby.
Woke up at 7:45AM today, five minutes before my alarm (waking up naturally right before your alarm feels freakin’ amazing) The worries were still on my mind, but I decided to not think too much about them and do instead what I promised myself I’d religiously take up this quarter – working out at RIMAC (our gym, which, is pretty awesome (check out #5)) Ran to the gym, which is about 0.7 miles each way, did leg day, and ran back within an hour and a half.
I still have the same amount of work. Writing this post isn’t as important as getting my hw done, and here I am. And yet, I am more carefree than I have been all weekend. Working out focused all of my mind and body and spirit on the act of lifing that weight, mentally preparing for that last set (“It’s gonna hurt. But you can do it. But it’s going to hurt =(. Come on!”), . Seriously though, when you walk out of the gym and the post workout endorphins are coursing through your veins and you’re walking all bowlegged because you can’t feel your calves anymore and its a bright crisp morning and you have so much confidence for upping your weight just within 6 days, anything seems possible. Even 18 units worth of homework I have to finish two days early. Today, I’ve reminded myself that maintaining my fitness allows me to maintain other aspects of my life. Fitness defines who I am, and allows me to become who I want to be.
What an awesome way to start the week.